Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Sorry, Missed Funny Monday

Well, I guess I am not off to a good start when it comes to Funny Mondays or any other day of the week.

Here are a few jokes for you, even though it is Tuesday night! Enjoy!

Chastity Belt

A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, “If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.”
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. “What's wrong?' ” he asks.

“You gave me the wrong key!”

Another one:

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer.

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"Okay, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we could get a blood sample."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."


Tammy said...


K Trainor said...

HeeHeee! Love that last one. :D

Popped over to say TAG!!! We're having some fun and promoting our blogs. If you don't want to play along, nooooo biggie, but we'd love to have you join in! (Today's Musings is my other site, in case you were wondering.)


Nadine said...

Thanks for the laugh. That first one made me laugh out loud.

Laura said...


I also liked the first one, although both are funny. Where do people come up with these jokes, cracks me up.

K--working on the tag now

Tammy--same here